I canÂ’t go on like this. ThereÂ’s just no way out :(

[Em08]

Last year the pandemic really affected my mental health. It triggered both my health anxiety and my OCD.

I had more CBT and I was fortunate that I have a supportive employer who facilitated enabling me to work from home.
I barley saw many people, lost several
friends because I became so distant, and I felt too frightened to leave my house, convinced that I would die from Covid.

In March I had a text from my GP telling me I was eligible for my Covid vaccine (asthmatic) and took up the offer.

ItÂ’s been 10 weeks now and the difference it has made to my life has been incredible.

I voluntarily returned to the office, I see my work colleagues, IÂ’ve had dinner (outside) with the few friends I do have and for the first time in over a year I started to feel good about life again.

That was until 2 weeks ago when the under 40 guidance came into place for the AZ vaccine.

ItÂ’s triggered something awful in me and IÂ’m slipping back to a dark place.


I am not able to rationally process the risk of this vaccine and I donÂ’t want my second dose because of the risk.
in my mind I am convinced i will most certainly be the 1 in (said odds) that will get a blood clot and die.

IÂ’ve been off of work for a week now because I canÂ’t sleep, I canÂ’t eat, I canÂ’t focus.
I donÂ’t want to die. I canÂ’t see a way out of this misery.
I feel like my choices are vaccine = death or Covid = death.

I donÂ’t think I can go through with my second dose but nor so I think I can live with the worry of not being protected from Covid.

I honestly thought after my first dose how incredibly lucky I am. Now I feel like it was all too good to be true because I just canÂ’t go through with a second dose.

[AbyssalStars]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I have been there, especially when COVID first started. I don't know what to tell you beyond that everything in life comes with risks. Birth control can cause blood clots, and yet still many many women around the world take it. It's about weighing the pros and cons. Yes, in theory, the vaccine could cause blood clots, but guess what could also potentially cause blood clots (and many other terrible symptoms)? COVID. And getting a vaccine rather than getting COVID sounds like the safer option even if it also has a level of risk involved. With COVID, you are probably going to feel absolutely miserable and may die, whereas with the vaccine you might have a few symptoms but the risk of death is still much lower.

[pulisa]

There aren't any cases of blood clots with the 2nd dose though, Em..

You do need a 2nd dose with the Indian variant, in particular, to give you the best protection against serious illness.

Why not speak to your GP and your work colleagues about your fears? Get some facts and weigh them up against your fears?

[BenSW]

I am not able to rationally process the risk of this vaccine and I donÂ’t want my second dose because of the risk.
in my mind I am convinced i will most certainly be the 1 in (said odds) that will get a blood clot and die.

I totally understand - through personal experience - why you aren't able to rationalise the risk in your current state of mind. However, the risk of a fatal blood clot from the second dose is of the order of 1 in a million (less likely than for the dose you have already had). That's about the same probability as taking a coin and it landing on heads twenty times in a row.

You can't get twenty heads in a row (try if you like!) and you won't die from a blood clot. There is a 999,999 in a million chance that you will feel fantastic and feel comfortable to get back to a more positive, happier life. I'm not pretending it is easy, but all you really have to worry about is a sharp scratch and what to order on your next meal with friends.

[Punky789]

In March I had a text from my GP telling me I was eligible for my Covid vaccine (asthmatic) and took up the offer.

ItÂ’s been 10 weeks now and the difference it has made to my life has been incredible.

I voluntarily returned to the office, I see my work colleagues, IÂ’ve had dinner (outside) with the few friends I do have and for the first time in over a year I started to feel good about life again.

Don't let your anxiety rob you of that happiness and joy. The odds of something bad happening are so, so small. But the odds of you finding that same happiness again are astronomical. Is it worth it to not get the vaccine and live with the fear and anxiety? It's scary. I truly understand. But the affects of anxiety are far more real and far more likely than anything you might experience from a vaccine.